Thursday, April 14, 2005

What would you think if I sang out of tune? Would you stand up and walk out on me?

One of my absolute favorite TV shows of all time would have to be The Wonder Years starring Fred Savage. Pretty much every episode made me want to cry (I'm serious) and I would, too. Maybe not full out bawling my eyes out but I would always get this lump in my throat and then spend the next hour contemplating the frailties of humans and their relationships.

The show was so poignant and sad. The early episodes did not take a huge emotion toll on me the way the later ones did. They later episodes were sad because they were too much like real life. Kevin and Winnie, once inseparable, were no more. Kevin wasn't popular anymore, he wasn't even cute anymore. Winnie was still hot and her parents got rich and moved away and went to a private school. Nerdy Paul suddenly became hot and even lost his virginity before Kevin. The couple episodes that really got to me were the ones where Kevin tries to get back with Winnie, and she totally shuts him out. Thats the thing about growing up...nothing or noone is ever the same again. Those idyllic childhood memories just turn into things of the past that can never be brought back. I sometimes feel really sad when I look back at all the people that I've lost touch with over the years. Its not anyones fault, but its still depressing. I mean if 8 years ago someone had told me that there would ever come a time when AH and I wouldn't even talk, I would have said they were crazy. But here we are, 8 years hence, and we don't talk. I mean I suppose I know vague details of where he is and what he's doing, but thats just what they are - vague. And its really my fault when I think about it. He used to write me and call me all the time, and he even came to visit me, but really did not care at the time. Maybe because I thought we would always be best friends and be as close as we were. Well I was way off. Apparently he was in love with me (as close to love as one can be at that age) but I was so totally oblivious. And then whenever we've met each other since the conversation has been so rubbish and stilted maybe because we were both seeing other people.

Okay its probably best to stop now. I was going to delete this whole AH part, but decided to leave it in to prove that The Wonder Years does things me. Just thinking about that show has made me think about all these things in my own life. But in conclusion I would like to say that I am overdramatizing a little. We hung out last year and it was really fun. Of course we hardly get to see each other anymore so thats why we're not that close, but I'm confident that if we ever lived in the same place again we would go back to being like two peas in a pod.


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