You're a sexy guy, I'm a nice girl...Let's turn this dance floor into our own little nasty world

I have deemed one of my initiaves gone and past help, so its freed up a lot of my time, thank god. Though the sad part is that it has forced me to confront the fact that a lot of times I sabotage things that I KNOW would be good for me. Why do I do this? I can think of a similar instance in the past, but I suppose I can write that off because I was young and stupid, but seriously, what is my excuse now? Why did I do what I did? Was it even entirely my fault? I think not. Who knows. Its times like this that Im glad I believe everything happens for the best and is pre-ordained to a large extent, otherwise I think I would go mad with regret.

I know this doesnt really make any sense. But like I said, I have a lot of trouble talking about specifics on my blog. Or even in real life. I think I am a very reserved person who's become so used to keeping eveyrthing on the inside that its become almost impossible for me to open up. Which might be a good thing or a bad thing, Im not sure. I have a feeling I was always like this though. I think thats what being an only child does to you. My fear is that if I let people in on the fact that I, too, am human people will think of me as weak. Or I am just an overthinker and an overanalyzer who just needs or live a little. Maybe.