About a girl...
Okay I feel like I need to talk about this. I am a very reserved person. I have a difficult time "letting people in". I am quite social, I think, but I just have trouble telling people what I am thinking and feeling.
Having said that though, I dont think I have too many feelings either. Its not like Im super emotionally charged and angst ridden and conflicted and somehow mask that at all times. I am a fairly relaxed, easygoing person whos emotions are never really all over the place. I used to belong to the former category, a long long time ago, but I think Im more mature now. I believe that all the big things in life happen according to plan (ours, maybe a divine plan), and excessive worry and analysis is really pointless.
So I guess the real question is should I let out whatever limited emotions I have? Or should I strive to feel more deeply and let all that out too?
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I had a long conversation about boys and lives and feelings and such with a friend the other day... And one of the main concepts we kept returning to was the fact that when you put negative feelings and negative thoughts and worries and fears out into the universe, you are contributing to their manifestation. You help to create exactly that which you want to avoid, just in planting the ideas in other people's minds, in thinking negatively, in not acting in a positive way such that would assist the achievement of what you actually want to happen.
Now this should be taken with a grain of salt... cause sure, sometimes it's necessary to vent, and sometimes it's important to discuss things, but I think we often open up to the wrong people, and that's an important fact, too.
I realize now some mistakes I have made in sharing certain things with certain people, and I realize how masking emotions and conflict isn't necessarily hiding from them, but helping them to be resolved faster so life can be happy.
Are you happy?
I dont really buy into the whole thing that says put positive feelings out there and things will happen. I mean as a general tenet I think its great if it means people think positive things, but I dont set too much store by this whole idea.
On the whole I would say I rarely talk about my feelings. I dont like to, and I seldom admit things even to myself. And I never used to be like this. I totally agree when you say masking emotions helps to resolve them faster. I think I "feel less" than I did 5 years ago, but I am still a pessimist.
Am I happy? No. Mainly because I am being very lazy, and not working hard enough. The day I am able to say Im not wasting too much time being lazy and useless and working towards my goals is the day I will say Im happy.
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